smiles and laughs

Alex has been smiling a lot lately, it's by far the most beautiful thing she does now. My husband told me she laughed at him but I didn't believe him until I witnessed Alex laugh at him.
She smiles when we smile at her, when we talk to her, basically whenever she's happy. So far she seems happiest in the mornings and when she wakes up from a good nap (as long as she's not starvin' Marvin). She'll even smile when she has a poopy diaper!
Her smiles and laughs bring us so much joy, we look forward to many more throughout the years. Here's to the happiest baby on the block!

Alex's first wedding

We went to a wedding yesterday, all and all it wasn't that bad. The ceremony was outdoors, which was a good thing because Alex cried through most of it and started just as the bride came walking out. The cries started because she had to poop and continued because she was hungry and tired.
The problem was that it started at 4 p.m. just in time for her poop, feeding and nap. I walked her around the lawn (far enough away from the event), I changed her, fed her and tried to put her to sleep but people were so intrigued by her. This one man in particular kept coming up to us just as she would fall asleep and rub her head! "I just can't help it," he'd say.
Needless to say Alex didn't sleep the entire time, about five hours of awake time. Last night and today she slept a bit longer and deeper than usual. As nice as it would be to plan ahead and make sure she is fed and had her nap before heading out, it never seems to work out that way.

weaning problems

I tried to supplement a feeding with formula today and it did not go well at all! Alex took one swig and started to cry. My husband tried a few more times but her cries got louder and louder. The little bit of formula she did take in remained in her mouth for several minutes until we had to wipe it out.
I wonder if all formula's taste the same and if I should try a different brand.
Uh oh, what happens when I run out of breast milk?

Count this, time that

Since the day Alex was born I've been told to time how long she eats, asked how many wet diapers in a day and how many poops in a day. "What colour is the poop? Is it seedy?"
Every time a nurse came in to our room after she was born they asked how long she fed for. "Is that 20 minutes each breast?" NO!! That is 2o minutes total. This question started me worrying that she wasn't eating enough. Thankfully Alex's pediatrician cleared that up by assuring me that Alex gets all she needs in the first five minutes. And if she continues to gain weight everything is fine.
I've stopped counting and timing, I just go with the flow. If I notice that Alex ISN'T wetting diapers then I'll start to worry.

When to stop the swaddle

My Alex is an escape artist. Last night I watched her in action and couldn't help but laugh. The Happiest Baby on the Block author, Harvey Karp suggests that if baby resists swaddling try letting one arm free.
Alex has been screaming when I swaddle her at night, she fights it to the end. So I try to swaddle her after she falls asleep. Last night I swaddled her with one arm free, the other was tightly wrapped inside the blanket. I watched her fuss and squirm in her sleep and then, like a pro, she lifted her legs, rolled over slightly to open the blanket and freed her arm.
The Woombie Swaddler looks like it would do the trick. But be careful of other "pre-swaddled" blankets, I have two and they're useless. The key is the tight top, like the Woombie.
When do I give in?

Spilled it again!

OK, this is getting a bit ridiculous, my butterfingers have got the best of me. Since becoming pregnant I have become more clumsy, and it has continued to date.
I had already bagged the milk and was placing it in the fridge when it fell out. The bag was not completely sealed!! Anything but the milk!
Just some advice, make sure you seal the bag tightly!

Things really do change at 3 months

Alex seems a lot more happy these days. She really only cries for a reason. She smiles a lot, she is so aware of her surroundings and she is always observing. She stares out the car window now, she is actually interested in her toys, her pets and everything else that's going on around her. She tries to hold on to things and she is slowly becoming more coordinated.
Alex has a lot of stuff that "starts at 3 months." Clothes, toys, her Bumbo chair, her Jolly Jumper, Baby Einstein videos and her Toronto Maple Leafs binkies. At 10 and a half weeks my husband and I have introduced most of it to her and she has taken to all of the above. She smiles during parts of the video, she tries to bounce in the jumper and she can hold her head up fairly well in her Bumbo chair.
Her 3- to 6-month clothes fit her, it's a lot of fun dressing up my little girl. Although, it seems like a rush to get her in to everything before they no longer fit her.
It's fun being a mom of a 3-month-old baby girl.

crying over spilled milk

A few days ago I had just finished pumping 4 oz. and walked to the kitchen to bag it and guess what? Yes, I dropped it all over the floor! As I sit here pumping out every last drop (and I'm really pushing to get beyond the 3 oz. mark) I can't help but think how stupid that was.
Alex is starting to eat more than 4 oz. and she also likes the breast again. But I'm not sure she's getting much milk out of there because she gets hungry shortly after.
I think my breastfeeding days are soon coming to an end. I think I will try supplementing with formula first though.

Learning along the way

I've truly been learning along the way. I recently learned several ways to put Alex to sleep, at first there was only one way; the rocking chair. Now she will fall asleep to the sound of my breast pump as she lies on the bed beside me. She will fall asleep during a walk (although some days it seems that fresh air keeps her wide awake), she will fall asleep in her swinging chair and sometimes she will fall asleep in the car. Thank goodness because after an hour or more of rocking in the chair my back was killing me.
I've learned that I really have to keep on top of Alex's clothes, much to my surprise she already fits in to her 3-6 month stuff!! I've learned to give up on trying to watch the odd T.V. show, I've learned that although newborns are a lot of work I try not to wish it away and I will cherish every moment of her life, I've learned that breastfeeding is one of the most difficult things I will be challenged with but what's best for my baby is worth enduring.
Some things that I have yet to learn; how do you "sleep when baby sleeps" when she mostly sleeps for short periods? When she takes her catnaps I try to eat, clean up a bit, do laundry or maybe make a phone call or two. What do you clean the baby tub with (for now I use her soap), and most important is how the heck do I keep the binky in her mouth?

Cloth vs. disposables

When I was pregnant my husband and I went to a cloth diaper seminar of sorts at Go Green Baby, in Kingston where we learned all you need to know about cloth diapering and the different types available.
I've always been determined to be good to the environment (thanks to my late sister), not to mention that cloth is so much cheaper; $300 compared to more than $2,500 a year for disposables.
The newborn/breastfeeding combo really makes Alex race through diapers like there's no tomorrow. I'd be doing nothing but laundry during my short bouts of free time.
I talked about switching to cloth with my sister in-law when she was visiting, she said she couldn't imagine adding that to all I have to do already. It would add about three more loads of laundry per week!
Disposable diapers contribute to 3.4 million tonnes of landfill waste per year as they don't decompose. We contribute about half a green garbage bag per week!
I'm hoping to switch to cloth when Alex is three months old, we'll see what happens in a few weeks.

Gripe water controversy

Yesterday, for the first time, I gave Alex gripe water in a desperate attempt to ease her gas pain. She had been frantically screaming for quite a while; there's not much worse than watching your little one in pain and there's nothing you can do.
I have read several books and articles that suggest gripe water does not work, "studies have shown it's the same as giving your baby plain water." Useless and fills up their tiny stomachs.
Many people have suggested I try to give Alex gripe water. Nurses say not to because her stomach is so small that water would fill up space that could be filled with nutrients. I got a bottle of gripe water at my baby shower so I tried it for the first time.
I gave Alex a teaspoon and shortly after she calmed down to a whimper and then fell asleep. I'm not sure if it worked, but I will try it again in the event I need to. I'm learning that, as long as it's not potentially harmful, everything is worth a try if it makes my baby happy.

breastfeeding ups and downs

I think I made a mistake when I decided to introduce the bottle. Since then I have added a whole new set of issues to deal with.
Pumping is very demanding. It seems as though I'm always saying, "I gotta go pump, I'll be back." It's also very time consuming, sometimes I sit there for 40 minutes trying to squeeze every last drop out to get 4 oz. I often worry that I won't have enough to feed her.
Her Doctor said that if Alex doesn't eat straight from the breast my milk could diminish quicker than I'd hoped. And it seems as though it has already started. At first I had too much milk and now I'm not sure I have enough...grrrr.. It's as though I can never win with this breastfeeding thing.
My nipples are more sore than they've ever been, Alex has to be burped way more often and seems to have a lot more gas in general that causes her pain. It's a race to get ahead of Alex's feedings, sometimes I barely make it.
Alex mostly rejects the breast now, however there is the odd time when she will have a snack. I miss looking down at her beautiful face, as she sucks away to get her nutrition from one of my body parts. It's the most wonderful feeling. Back then it was still a struggle though, she would only eat for short periods and because the flow of milk was too fast she often pulled away and cried. She wouldn't eat enough so my breasts would fill up and ache like crazy. I can't win.
Do these breastfeeding advocates know all of the above, or am I the only one faced with the struggles?

2 Nights of sleep, what a treat!

My sister in-law came to stay with us for a couple of days, mostly to visit Alex and help me out. It was the best two days I've had in a long time; visiting with her and definitely the sleep.
She insisted on looking after Alex through the night so I could get some sleep. She had been planning to do that ever since she found out I was at the hospital suffering from exhaustion and anxiety.
The first night I slept (and I mean slept!) near nine hours and last night I slept six! IT WAS WONDERFUL! Alex and I just woke up from a two hour nap and I feel completely refreshed. I wish all new mothers were as lucky as me. It's nice to have all kinds of help but feedings through the night top all.
I honestly don't think anyone else would be so generous to ever offer us that kind of break, my sister in-law is pretty special. I truly can't thank her enough.

First road trip

This weekend we decided to take a trip to visit our good friends in QC. I thought it would be a great overnight getaway, a change of pace for Alex and me. Overall it wasn't that bad, but our hosts probably don't think the same.
Alex cried most of the time she was awake, but she slept fairly good considering she wasn't at home in her bed, or in her swinging chair. Granted she was in a bit of pain from her immunization shots and nothing was familiar to her except her parents.
She was great in the car because I sat in the backseat with her, she does not travel well sitting in the back alone. She is not one of those babies who you can take for a car ride to fall asleep (unless she has company she can stare at).
When we got home Alex was very upset. It seemed that nothing would calm her. As soon as we walked in our house I tried to feed her and she wouldn't eat. I gave her a bath and she calmed down slightly but continued to cry. Then I gave her a massage and she calmed down even more but was still a bit cranky. She ate and eventually went to sleep in her swinging chair. It took her a while to realize she was home.
All in all it was an OK trip, a trial for our long trip to NS. next month.

First needles suck too

Thursday Alex got her first vaccination shots,what an awful day at the doctors for all of us. Don't get me wrong, we love her pediatrician.
First Alex peed all over mommy while on the way to the scales (next time I'll take her diaper off just before she gets weighed). After her regular check up and a chat with her doctor, two nurses came in the room and each poked a needle into either thigh. It took a second to kick in but man when Alex realized what just happened she screamed.
It broke our hearts to see her in pain. Both her dad and I cried with her. What a heart-wrenching experience but her doctor said the 18-month shots are worse because they are aware and they remember.
Alex was in pain for a few days, another cry to figure out what was wrong.

25 and a half hour labour

During my pregnancy I talked with many mothers as I was curious about their labour and delivery experiences. Stupid me didn't think to ask about what came after that.
Some women told me about their six-hour labour, one even said she had two of her babies in two hours. I think the longest labour was 10 hours. So judging by the information I gathered I thought I couldn't possibly go longer than 10 hours.
I was firmly against any pain medication and I was definitely not having an epidural! Well after 16 hours of extreme pain and vomiting the doctors and nurses pleaded with me to consider an epidural. If they could ease my mind about the side effects of the epidural I would consider it. They did and I opted to have the epidural put in but only by an expert. I'm glad I did.
Anything can happen, all of it was so unexpected. I went in to it thinking I had my mind made up and every last thing changed! Never in a million years would I have thought I'd be in labour for more than 25 hours.
Expect the unexpected.

swaddling sucks but it works

Dr. Harvey Karp, the author of The Happiest Baby on the Block, says that parents should imitate the womb for a baby's first three months of life. One of the five ways of doing that, he suggests, is to swaddle your baby. We did that, it worked for a while but now things have changed.
Alex is trying to use her arms and legs a lot more now, she can almost hold her binky in her mouth. To swaddle a baby you must wrap them very tightly in a blanket, arms and legs included. The main reason behind this is so that they don't wake themselves with their flailing arms. Well now that Alex is getting used to life outside the womb and making better use of her arms and legs she absolutely rejects being swaddled. The problem is that she still startles herself awake!
I try not to swaddle her too much because I know she doesn't care for it and her arms and legs need the exercise. But sometimes I have to and she protests like it's the end of the world. She's smart, now she quickly gets her one arm free before I fold over the last corner of the blanket. It's quite a struggle and I often feel bad...but it works.
To swaddle or not to swaddle.

Binky, bottle or breast

Breastfeeding has been an experience in itself. There were times when I almost gave it up, times when I cried and times of tremendous joy.
Alex's doctor told us not to introduce a bottle until she was six weeks old. During my "worry stage" I often worried about Alex getting confused between her soother, a bottle (with pumped breast milk) and breastfeeding. Back then I limited her soother use and I hesitated to use a bottle. I had been pumping and freezing but I was paranoid that she would stop breastfeeding if we bottle-fed her.
The night I went to the hospital because of my panic attack was the first time Alex had a bottle. I even worried that she wouldn't take her first bottle and she would go hungry. The nurse at the emergency department assured me Alex was fine.
Now I don't worry about any of the above. She mostly eats from the bottle, gets her Binky whenever she fusses and is a little lazy with the breastfeeding. Oh well, I can pump until I can't pump anymore. She will never starve. I'm so much calmer and carefree now.

Alex loves her massages

Alex has a rash and I was told to try air drying. So I decided to give her a nightly massage after her bath and let her air dry for a while. She absolutely loves it. I love it too.
There have been studies that have determined touching makes babies smarter, plus the massages have brought us even closer together. During her massage she gets so excited, she talks and smiles away. Overall, I think the massages have made her more calm and comfortable.
It's all trial and error.

Things to worry about

When I first brought Alex home I worried about everything; is she breathing? Is she eating enough? Can she breath in that stroller, under the blanket? Is she wetting enough diapers? Is she sleeping too much? And then came the cold virus! Poor girl caught a cold at six weeks old.
I think that's how my anxiety manifested. New mothers don't talk about post partum anxiety or depression enough. In fact, a mother recently told me that she hid the fact that she suffered post partum for six months after her baby was born. I encourage women to talk about it, I urge them. Talk with your doctor if no one else. My doctor really helped me through this tough time. I worry a lot less, ask my husband.

quiet please

Some people have suggested that we get Alex used to noises; dog barking, doors closing, doors knocking. But after you've spent four hours trying to put her to sleep you don't want to chance her waking up under any circumstances.
We have had several visitors, some from out of town. They're noisy. They practically slam doors and cupboards shut, drop things and talk loudly. All of the above startle Alex when she's sleeping. When people show up unexpectedly and the dog barks is another annoyance.
People just don't understand, especially those who are not parents. Shhhh.

Not all bad

It appears that some people think I view parenting in a negative way; let me assure you all that that's not the case. I wouldn't change anything; not the 25 hour labour, not the 1st three months of continuous crying, not the lack of sleep, not anything. I love my daughter more than anything in the world.
This blog is simply about things that most people don't talk about or don't tell you about while you're pregnant.

Post Partum What?

About five weeks in to motherhood I started suffering from panic attacks; the first one was particularily bad and I went to the hospital b/c my doctor was not available. Surprisingly, the staff was very understanding and helped me understand what was going on.
I was suffering from post partum anxiety and possibly depression. Honestly, I didn't have a clue; I was ecstatic about my little bundle of joy.
What caused it? Besides the hormone imbalance, it was the lack of sleep, lack of proper diet and just being a new mom. I had to learn a lot about my new baby. I thought I could run on fumes; do laundry, dishes, eat, shower...all while my little angel slept...NO! I ran out of fumes and ended up in the hospital suffering from exhaustion and anxiety. I was told that I have to "sleep when baby sleeps."
Since then I have made an effort to sleep when baby sleeps but it's still a struggle. Sometimes she sleeps for 30 minutes, just enough time for me to get to sleep, or other times I just can't fall asleep. I have tried to eat better, thanks to my husband.
I went to see my family doctor and he was quite concerned about my trip to the hospital. He took three hours of his time to figure out what medication would be safe while breastfeeding. It seems to be doing the trick!

crying, eating and not sleeping

Well, my daughter, Alexandria Nicole, is well in to her 7th week of life, and we're getting to know each other quite nicely. She definitely knows who her mom is and, for the most part, I know what her cries are telling me.
Prior to us getting to know each other it was a whirlwind of emotions and not really knowing what to do. It was tough at times, especially when she cried, didn't sleep for any length of time and then there was the feeding obstacle. Thank goodness for her doctor who guided me through it all.
For her crying and short sleeps, Alex's doctor recommended I read The Happiest Baby on The Block by Harvey Karp; that book is gold! Her doctor also eased my mind about her breastfeeding habits; she gets all she needs in the first five minutes of feeding... who knew!