I apologize

if I offended any breastfeeding mothers when I wrote about breast milk vs. formula. When I wrote "breastfeeding advocates," I should have said extremists.
I am a breastfeeding advocate; if I could have I would have breastfed Alex until she was at least one. She can't get better than breast milk. Here's to all the mothers who can breastfeed as long as they want!

Alex's first word

For a couple of weeks now Alex has been saying, "mamamamama" while she cries. At first I wasn't certain that's what she was saying but I sure am now. My husband especially was uncertain but even he believes now after hearing her cry in bed the other morning.
It's only when she cries, as if she's calling out for me to help her. Sometimes it sounds like, "mom, mom, mom."
Next we have to teach her, "dadadadada," I worked very hard at teaching her mama. I can't believe my 4-month-old can talk AND has two teeth.

Nesting 4 months in?

During the past few weeks I've had bursts of energy like never before. When I was in my eighth month of pregnancy tonnes of women told me that I was going to get a burst of energy and start "nesting." I did a bit of organizing baby's things but I sure didn't have a whole lot of energy to speak of.
In recent days I have been un-cluttering my house and it's coming along quite nicely. It's taken me a while but I'm getting there. Cleaning, spring cleaning and organizing combined, it truly is amazing. It's very rewarding to see our house in order but I'm not finished yet.
Alex has been tolerant of my recent obsession; she comes with me from room to room, playing with her toys and watching mommy tidy up. We take breaks in between and do a bit of dancing or a bit of rolling.
I have to put my nesting on hold because Alex and I are heading to Toronto for a few days to see family. I'm looking forward to the break.

Useless things

There have been some useless purchases we have made since I was pregnant, for us anyways:
A sleep positioner that is supposed to prevent baby from rolling over while sleeping. As a newborn, Alex couldn't roll over, I'm not sure about other babies but she couldn't. She can certainly roll over now but they say that when a baby CAN roll over there's no real need to worry about it because they can roll themselves back and hold up their head. We never used it.
Her up-to-22 lb. infant car seat was sort of a waste of money, a 3-in-1 car seat is a better option. Although the infant car seat has been handy to take Alex in and out of the car and to carry her around, or to put it on her stroller.
A sleep sac in the summer, but I will probably make better use of it in the winter. Scratch mittens we never used, a nostril sucker that even Alex's doctor said is useless, I tried to use it when she was sick but it didn't work.
We registered for bumper pads at the beginning, until all the healthcare professionals we discussed them with told us we should not use them. Bumper pads have been suspected of causing SIDS because they prevent the air from flowing through the crib. Needless to say we quickly removed them from our registry. We recently purchased an airflow pad made by Jolly Jumper that wraps around her crib simply to keep her arms and legs from getting stuck between the bars.
Just some advice for new moms, pregnant women or anyone who is thinking of starting a family.

We'll be brushing soon

We woke up this morning and Alex was quite playful as we lied in bed. She grabbed my hand and stuck it in her mouth. To my surprise, I felt something sharp on her bottom gum! My husband was still sleeping as I yelled, "Oh my God!" He thought something was wrong, I yelled again, "She has a tooth!"
Alex had been slightly cranky for the past couple days , mostly through the night. I attributed it to gas because she tooted up a storm. The past couple of weeks I had wondered if she was teething due to all the drool and desire to bite things. During our last visit to Toronto my aunt thought she might be teething too. My husband was convinced she was teething. But I thought nothing of it because she wasn't overly cranky, she didn't have a fever or any other signs of teeth coming in.
All day today I kept wanting to look at her first tooth but Alex wouldn't let me. So, with clean hands, I felt it as often as I could. I wish I could get a picture. My little girl is growing up!

First solid meal

Today Alex is 4 months old. After talking to her pediatrician we decided to offer her rice cereal on her 4-month birthday. She had been watching us eat and mimicking us with her little mouth. Apparently that is one of the signs baby is ready to eat solids, they are also supposed to have doubled their birth-weight and be able to sit up with assistance. She has accomplished all of the above.
At first she was frustrated because she was hungry and her hunger wasn't being satisfied quick enough. So I offered her a bottle of breast milk and continued with the cereal. She made a mess but I think she enjoyed it. Her doctor said solid foods could cause constipation, here's hoping her bowels keep moving or we're in for a long night.

Breast milk vs. formula

Alex recently started to drink formula, shortly after her dehydration. Prior to that she refused everything but breast milk. I'm relieved that she took the formula.
I persevered and got her to start drinking formula with a cup. She happily takes it from a bottle ever since. It's a good thing because I know for a fact that she wasn't getting enough from my breast.
I somehow feel guilty at times because of all the hype about breastfeeding and how it's the best option for baby. I always wanted to breastfeed her for as long as possible, hopefully until she was at least one. Although Alex still gets all the milk I have, we do supplement with formula a couple times a day.
On the bright side, I worry much less; I don't worry about wasted /spilled breast milk, I don't worry about Alex getting enough to eat, I don't worry about her weight gain, I don't worry about her getting dehydrated.

swimming is the key

A few weeks ago we bought Alex her own little pool. So far it's been a GREAT purchase. She's been in it a few times, the first time I actually got in with her. Since then she ventures in by herself with mommy's help. I swish her around, teach her how to splash and kick her feet. Now she wants to roll over on her tummy in the water. It's a great opportunity for "tummy time" because she doesn't like it any other way.
Alex has gas issues and being on her tummy really helps. Her gas can get so bad that it keeps her awake most of the night crying. She farted up a storm in the pool today; wooo hooo.
The pool also makes her hungry and very sleepy. It's all around a great activity for my Alex.

from shhhh to lullaby

When Alex was a newborn my husband and I lived by the 5 S's to calm her, one of which was Shhh to mimic the sound of the womb. The 5 S's worked wonders but now it's time to move on. Much like her father, Alex no longer likes to be shushed. She gets very cranky when she's tired and she often fights her sleep. She gets even more angry when she's shushed. One way to calm her to sleep is to sing her a lullaby.
I have to admit, I know very few lullaby's, in fact the only one I know all the words to is Rock-A-Bye Baby. I have a book of lullaby's, now all I have to do is memorize them.

caught again

Last night during her nap just prior to her bedtime I went in Alex's room as she was waking up. She was happily playing with her aquarium, rolled over on her side to observe it. To my dismay, I noticed both of her legs were right through the bars of her crib!
I guess Alex will sleep with us until we can get what's called an Airwrap.

Upgrade to the crib-Take 2

I've been organizing and tidying up Alex's room for three days now, preparing for her transition to her crib. Three days is a long time to clean, maybe I'm doing it on purpose. I don't want my little girl to leave my side at night.
You see, she currently sleeps in the bassinet part of her playpen beside me but she is getting too heavy for it now. She's a whopping 14 lbs. And I don't think my husband would give up his bed for Alex and I to co-sleep, plus I wouldn't ask him to.
I must confess though, there is a bed for me in Alex's room, but I'm not sure if I'll use it full time or par time...we'll see what becomes of this transition to the crib.

Busy Girl

I haven't written in a while because the past few weeks have been full of entertaining. Yes, entertaining my daughter that is. She is awake a lot more now and she wants to know about everything around her.
Some days I feel we don't have enough to keep her busy but I know that's really not the case. She can be entertained by the same thing over and over again. She has a few favourite things to do; she loves to play on her activity mat, she especially likes the whale and the octopus. She rolls all around the house, she watches Baby Einstein videos, swims, she sits in her chair and plays with her toys and puts them in her mouth, she does a bit of observing; the cat, the dog, mommy doing stuff. She also likes to go for walks, in my arms, and touch trees...she loves trees!
I love the new Alex, she's so much fun.

mama's girl

For the past little while Alex has been "making strange" with most everyone but me and her daddy. I'm not sure what "making strange" really means but she cries when other people hold her and she only really calms down when mommy takes her. Sometimes if I'm in her sight she will be OK but other times that doesn't even work.
I know that other parents have "forced" their babies to stop "making strange" by just letting them cry, but I refuse to do that. I don't want to upset my Alex, I will avoid upsetting her at all costs. I love her too much. If she is going to be a mama's girl than so be it.

This weekend was a long one. The trip to Toronto was VERY long but Alex tolerated it for the most part. She was slightly cranky, especially when everyone wanted to hold her. Besides my mom and my nephew, this was the first time a lot of my family had seen Alex. We visited two homes and as soon as we were in reach they grabbed her in her car seat and started to play with her. They got stumped when they tried to take her out of the seat, it's quite complex to get her out.
She fussed when others held her and she was tired a lot. But we made it there and back without any major complaints.
Yesterday we had Alex baptized and that went much better than I expected. You often hear about babies crying at their baptism, especially during the water on the forehead part. Not my Alex :)
She really only started to cry when it was all over, during all the photos at the end. Then she fell asleep in my arms. What a doll!

Heading into a busy weekend

We're going to brave another day trip tomorrow, I hope Alex doesn't hate it. She's a lot better in the car, I think she is finally used to it. I think the key is her slowly getting used to things.
So we are heading to Toronto for the day to see some family and friends and to drop my husband off at a baseball game. We have a full day that I hope Alex can tolerate. She tolerates a lot now that she's past the 3-month mark.
Sunday she is being baptized, I hope she doesn't hate us for it. You can only do what you think is right for your baby and learn as you go.
Wish me luck.

When to keep track

Alex has had a stomach virus the last few days, I took her to the doctor because she had diarrhea for quite a while and I began to worry about her getting dehydrated.
I bought some pediatric electrolyte liquid, as per doctor's orders, and gave it to her over 48 hours. Things seem to be improving but I'm still worried.
So today I began charting her day; naps, poops, pees, feedings. I will do this for a few days to see how she's doing, hopefully I don't become obsessively worried again like I was at the beginning.
There are times when you really need to keep track of things, especially when they are sick. My poor little girl.

Rollin' for tummy time

Alex rolled over for the first time a couple of days ago, now she can't stop!
Alex used to fight tummy time before she started rolling, she wouldn't last more than a minute on her belly. Now that she can roll she spends a lot more time on her tummy. It strengthens her upper body muscles and helps her digestive system.
Today I was lying beside her and with my encouragement she rolled over twice to get to me. It was the cutest thing ever!
I love her so much.

to pierce or not to pierce

I never thought I would consider piercing my baby girl's ears, I have always thought it would be cruel to put her through pain for something cosmetic. I always said that I would postpone the piercing until my child is mature enough to want them and to take care of them herself. Some other reasons not to; infection - younger infants have immature immune systems, choking hazard, allergic reactions, or embedded earring.
But I have given it some more thought after talking to a kind lady at a jewelery store. My mom pierced my ears at three months old at a doctor's office. They are the best pierced holes I've ever had. As a teenager/adult I have had several more piercings and they all became infected and eventually closed up.
Alex's doctor said there is no more chance of infection if I wait. Hmm.
They say that parents should wait until the baby is at least two or three months old, which is when she should be old enough to handle mild infections and will have gotten at least one round of vaccines. It is also suggested that parents get earrings with locks or screw-on backs made of surgical steel (to reduce allergic reactions), which may help decrease swallowing or choking. And to choose a facility that uses sterile equipment and has experience piercing baby ears, such as your pediatrician's office. Unfortunately Alex's doctor does not pierce ears.

Upgraded from swaddle

After reading my blog about our struggles with the swaddle, a reader suggested I try something new; a Peke Moe sleep sac. We ordered one online and it arrived a couple of days ago. I used it for the first time last night.
Honestly, in the last little while Alex has become a great sleeper at night, I probably could have done without the sleep sac. But it has a purpose and its benefits. I was concerned about her flailing arms, but that's not too much of a concern anymore. It has only been in the last week or so (after we ordered the sac) that she stopped flailing to wake herself up. She still moves her arms a lot but not so much when she sleeps; she has much more control over her arms now.
The Peke Moe does work as a great blanket; no worries of baby being smothered or kicking off the blanket and getting cold in the night.
Alex didn't mind the sleep sac, she slept quite well. But she wasn't pleased with the tight-fitting neck going over her head (she doesn't like clothes going over her head in general) or in the morning when she wanted to suck her hands. Overall I think it was a good investment, especially for winter.

scrap the cradle

Last night I had the scare of my life; I thought Alex broke her little leg.
I woke her up around midnight to feed her and when she was asleep I placed her back in her cradle on my side of the bed. Seconds after she woke up screaming and I instantly knew she was in pain, it was definitely a pain cry.
I quickly looked her over and realized her leg was caught between the bars of the wooden cradle. I had to maneuver her leg out between the bars, I lifted her out and held her tight. I walked her around the house and then I checked her leg to see if it was broken. It seemed OK but I worried about it all night.
We put her playpen in our room and she slept there for the night. She didn't sleep well at all and she woke up in a miserable mood that lasted all day. I continued to check her leg for bruises, swelling or signs of a broken bone. Everything seems fine but what a scare.

3 months old today

Well today Alex is 3 months old and we spent part of the afternoon at the doctor's, yet again. Man, I wonder what they think when we walk in there. Some of the nurses know us well. No doubt they're talking about us behind our backs, "Man, I know they're first time parents but they are truly far too paranoid."
Alex's eye has been watering goopy stuff since Friday and by Day 3 we got a bit worried. At times throughout the three days we talked ourselves out of going, hoping it would clear up. Plus we didn't want to look like idiots if it WAS something minor....
Well it turns out it is something minor; she has a blocked tearduct. We are to apply warm compresses for 15 minutes (good luck) three times a day and clean it constantly. There is a 10 percent chance it could require surgery to clear it up...maybe not so minor.
On the bright side, we got out of a parking ticket because the bylaw officer fell for Alex.

Alex's routine, yes routine

I'm not one to be strict about routine, I always thought I would just let my baby do whatever she wanted; whatever made her feel comfortable. Well I found that a routine is what makes her feel comfortable and makes life that much easier for both of us.
The most important part of the routine is nighttime, we pretty much do whatever we want during the day. Every night between 8 and 9 p.m. I give Alex a bath, followed by a massage, feed her and she goes to bed for the night. It's wonderful!

transition to the crib

They say that everything changes at 3 months, including sleeping arrangements. Well I don't think I'm quite ready for Alex to leave our bedroom. I love having her beside me in her cradle. I can sit and watch her sleep for hours. Mostly though it's easy to feed her in the middle of the night and I can keep my eyes and ears on her. All the information on SIDS can scare a parent into sleeping with their child until they're a teenager.
Alex has many naps in her crib and she quite like them. She loves to stare at her mobile and her battery operated aquarium. We don't even know she's awake because she lies there quiet as a mouse and content as can be.
I have a monitor but that doesn't make me feel better about leaving her in her crib all night. Most people think she should be in her crib, they ask, "Is she sleeping in her crib yet?" A few women have told me not to worry about it and to do whatever makes me feel better. These women had their children sleep with them until both parent and child felt comfortable with the transition to their own room. If Alex's crib could fit in our room, believe me it would be in there.

Watching daddy figure it out

Lately, Alex has been fussy when others hold her, now she seems to be starting the strange behaviour with her daddy. It saddens me when he says, "She hates me," especially considering today is his birthday.
She doesn't hate him, he just has to figure it out. My husband is on vacation and caring for Alex is a whole new experience for him. As I've had to do for the first couple of months, he has to figure out what's wrong. He gets slightly frantic and worried that he can't help her as she screams in his arms. I tell him that he has to find out why she's crying; is it gas, tired, hungry?
This morning it was a combination of slight hunger and really tired...he persevered and together we figured it out.

Daddy saves the day

My husband is on vacation this week and today, the first day, he has been a lifesaver. I have been able to get so much more done, I've actually had a bit of time to myself.
He has taken over a feeding or two, he has put her to sleep several times and even more helpful is that he has played with Alex, occupied her awake-time and kept her busy. Most important is that they are taking the time to bond even more. Daddies are special.
I wish we could both be on maternity leave.

Home bound for 40 days?

My husband calls me paranoid and sometimes says, "You can't have Alex live in a bubble." But I think he's a bit too much the other way, a little paranoia would do him good.
For example, I'm a little worried about the dog and Alex because I've heard horror stories of dogs biting new babies. My husband would be OK with the dog licking Alex and I wouldn't.
When Alex was first born my mom tried to insist that I stay home for the first 40 days of her new life, as the Greek culture believes. I thought, "no one can tell me to stay home for 40 days! That traditional way of thinking is just crazy."
They also believe that there should be no visitors during the 40 days. The main thought process behind it is so that the baby stays as healthy as possible and takes the time to get used to her surroundings and parents.
Having far passed 40 days I tend to think it's not so crazy. Alex has already had a cold in her first few weeks of life and now she is not keen on being away from home (as you are all well aware). Besides maybe feeling a bit isolated, I now think the 40-day ritual is a good idea.
See mom, I eventually get it...sometimes.

Losing my weight

It's not just a myth that if you breast feed you'll lose weight quicker. I gained a total of 50 lbs. during my pregnancy and I lost 40 of it almost instantly. I've been struggling with the last 10 lbs. but I recently noticed my weight is going down again since Alex started eating from the breast again.
When she wasn't eating from the breast and I was pumping 90 percent of the time, the last 10 pounds just hung around. I can actually hear my stomach grumbling when Alex eats! It has something to do with my uterus contracting...all I know is that I'm slowly shedding the last 10 lbs.

No formula for Alex, breast it is

To date, I (well daddy and grandma) have tried to feed Alex three different brands of formula and she absolutely refuses. She cries and screams like never before and it breaks my heart. Today I even tried to mix in a bit of breast milk with the formula and she wanted nothing to do with it. Is breast milk that good? I guess so.
It looks like I'll be persevering through all the trials and tribulations to keep on breastfeeding. But on the bright side, Alex has started to eat directly from the breast again (although she refuses the left one) and my milk seems to be increasing!

Not a happy Canada Day

Alex's grandparents decided they wanted to take Alex and I to a couple of Canada Day celebrations in the area. The crying started as soon as we put her in her car seat and continued practically the whole day.
Of course she had her reasons; being squished into her seat, gas, hunger, poopy diaper, tired, hot. You name it. And this was only a 4 hour outing down the road!
Alex really prefers surroundings she's familiar with, mainly her home. So home is where we'll be for the next while.
When we told people we were heading to NS this weekend they looked at us as if we were insane. Needless to say we have cancelled our trip, we will go when Alex is a bit older. It's too bad because I really miss my uncle G and aunt D and I really wanted them to meet Alex! I'm sure our vacation will be much better if we postpone it.

smiles and laughs

Alex has been smiling a lot lately, it's by far the most beautiful thing she does now. My husband told me she laughed at him but I didn't believe him until I witnessed Alex laugh at him.
She smiles when we smile at her, when we talk to her, basically whenever she's happy. So far she seems happiest in the mornings and when she wakes up from a good nap (as long as she's not starvin' Marvin). She'll even smile when she has a poopy diaper!
Her smiles and laughs bring us so much joy, we look forward to many more throughout the years. Here's to the happiest baby on the block!

Alex's first wedding

We went to a wedding yesterday, all and all it wasn't that bad. The ceremony was outdoors, which was a good thing because Alex cried through most of it and started just as the bride came walking out. The cries started because she had to poop and continued because she was hungry and tired.
The problem was that it started at 4 p.m. just in time for her poop, feeding and nap. I walked her around the lawn (far enough away from the event), I changed her, fed her and tried to put her to sleep but people were so intrigued by her. This one man in particular kept coming up to us just as she would fall asleep and rub her head! "I just can't help it," he'd say.
Needless to say Alex didn't sleep the entire time, about five hours of awake time. Last night and today she slept a bit longer and deeper than usual. As nice as it would be to plan ahead and make sure she is fed and had her nap before heading out, it never seems to work out that way.

weaning problems

I tried to supplement a feeding with formula today and it did not go well at all! Alex took one swig and started to cry. My husband tried a few more times but her cries got louder and louder. The little bit of formula she did take in remained in her mouth for several minutes until we had to wipe it out.
I wonder if all formula's taste the same and if I should try a different brand.
Uh oh, what happens when I run out of breast milk?

Count this, time that

Since the day Alex was born I've been told to time how long she eats, asked how many wet diapers in a day and how many poops in a day. "What colour is the poop? Is it seedy?"
Every time a nurse came in to our room after she was born they asked how long she fed for. "Is that 20 minutes each breast?" NO!! That is 2o minutes total. This question started me worrying that she wasn't eating enough. Thankfully Alex's pediatrician cleared that up by assuring me that Alex gets all she needs in the first five minutes. And if she continues to gain weight everything is fine.
I've stopped counting and timing, I just go with the flow. If I notice that Alex ISN'T wetting diapers then I'll start to worry.

When to stop the swaddle

My Alex is an escape artist. Last night I watched her in action and couldn't help but laugh. The Happiest Baby on the Block author, Harvey Karp suggests that if baby resists swaddling try letting one arm free.
Alex has been screaming when I swaddle her at night, she fights it to the end. So I try to swaddle her after she falls asleep. Last night I swaddled her with one arm free, the other was tightly wrapped inside the blanket. I watched her fuss and squirm in her sleep and then, like a pro, she lifted her legs, rolled over slightly to open the blanket and freed her arm.
The Woombie Swaddler looks like it would do the trick. But be careful of other "pre-swaddled" blankets, I have two and they're useless. The key is the tight top, like the Woombie.
When do I give in?

Spilled it again!

OK, this is getting a bit ridiculous, my butterfingers have got the best of me. Since becoming pregnant I have become more clumsy, and it has continued to date.
I had already bagged the milk and was placing it in the fridge when it fell out. The bag was not completely sealed!! Anything but the milk!
Just some advice, make sure you seal the bag tightly!

Things really do change at 3 months

Alex seems a lot more happy these days. She really only cries for a reason. She smiles a lot, she is so aware of her surroundings and she is always observing. She stares out the car window now, she is actually interested in her toys, her pets and everything else that's going on around her. She tries to hold on to things and she is slowly becoming more coordinated.
Alex has a lot of stuff that "starts at 3 months." Clothes, toys, her Bumbo chair, her Jolly Jumper, Baby Einstein videos and her Toronto Maple Leafs binkies. At 10 and a half weeks my husband and I have introduced most of it to her and she has taken to all of the above. She smiles during parts of the video, she tries to bounce in the jumper and she can hold her head up fairly well in her Bumbo chair.
Her 3- to 6-month clothes fit her, it's a lot of fun dressing up my little girl. Although, it seems like a rush to get her in to everything before they no longer fit her.
It's fun being a mom of a 3-month-old baby girl.

crying over spilled milk

A few days ago I had just finished pumping 4 oz. and walked to the kitchen to bag it and guess what? Yes, I dropped it all over the floor! As I sit here pumping out every last drop (and I'm really pushing to get beyond the 3 oz. mark) I can't help but think how stupid that was.
Alex is starting to eat more than 4 oz. and she also likes the breast again. But I'm not sure she's getting much milk out of there because she gets hungry shortly after.
I think my breastfeeding days are soon coming to an end. I think I will try supplementing with formula first though.

Learning along the way

I've truly been learning along the way. I recently learned several ways to put Alex to sleep, at first there was only one way; the rocking chair. Now she will fall asleep to the sound of my breast pump as she lies on the bed beside me. She will fall asleep during a walk (although some days it seems that fresh air keeps her wide awake), she will fall asleep in her swinging chair and sometimes she will fall asleep in the car. Thank goodness because after an hour or more of rocking in the chair my back was killing me.
I've learned that I really have to keep on top of Alex's clothes, much to my surprise she already fits in to her 3-6 month stuff!! I've learned to give up on trying to watch the odd T.V. show, I've learned that although newborns are a lot of work I try not to wish it away and I will cherish every moment of her life, I've learned that breastfeeding is one of the most difficult things I will be challenged with but what's best for my baby is worth enduring.
Some things that I have yet to learn; how do you "sleep when baby sleeps" when she mostly sleeps for short periods? When she takes her catnaps I try to eat, clean up a bit, do laundry or maybe make a phone call or two. What do you clean the baby tub with (for now I use her soap), and most important is how the heck do I keep the binky in her mouth?

Cloth vs. disposables

When I was pregnant my husband and I went to a cloth diaper seminar of sorts at Go Green Baby, in Kingston where we learned all you need to know about cloth diapering and the different types available.
I've always been determined to be good to the environment (thanks to my late sister), not to mention that cloth is so much cheaper; $300 compared to more than $2,500 a year for disposables.
The newborn/breastfeeding combo really makes Alex race through diapers like there's no tomorrow. I'd be doing nothing but laundry during my short bouts of free time.
I talked about switching to cloth with my sister in-law when she was visiting, she said she couldn't imagine adding that to all I have to do already. It would add about three more loads of laundry per week!
Disposable diapers contribute to 3.4 million tonnes of landfill waste per year as they don't decompose. We contribute about half a green garbage bag per week!
I'm hoping to switch to cloth when Alex is three months old, we'll see what happens in a few weeks.

Gripe water controversy

Yesterday, for the first time, I gave Alex gripe water in a desperate attempt to ease her gas pain. She had been frantically screaming for quite a while; there's not much worse than watching your little one in pain and there's nothing you can do.
I have read several books and articles that suggest gripe water does not work, "studies have shown it's the same as giving your baby plain water." Useless and fills up their tiny stomachs.
Many people have suggested I try to give Alex gripe water. Nurses say not to because her stomach is so small that water would fill up space that could be filled with nutrients. I got a bottle of gripe water at my baby shower so I tried it for the first time.
I gave Alex a teaspoon and shortly after she calmed down to a whimper and then fell asleep. I'm not sure if it worked, but I will try it again in the event I need to. I'm learning that, as long as it's not potentially harmful, everything is worth a try if it makes my baby happy.

breastfeeding ups and downs

I think I made a mistake when I decided to introduce the bottle. Since then I have added a whole new set of issues to deal with.
Pumping is very demanding. It seems as though I'm always saying, "I gotta go pump, I'll be back." It's also very time consuming, sometimes I sit there for 40 minutes trying to squeeze every last drop out to get 4 oz. I often worry that I won't have enough to feed her.
Her Doctor said that if Alex doesn't eat straight from the breast my milk could diminish quicker than I'd hoped. And it seems as though it has already started. At first I had too much milk and now I'm not sure I have enough...grrrr.. It's as though I can never win with this breastfeeding thing.
My nipples are more sore than they've ever been, Alex has to be burped way more often and seems to have a lot more gas in general that causes her pain. It's a race to get ahead of Alex's feedings, sometimes I barely make it.
Alex mostly rejects the breast now, however there is the odd time when she will have a snack. I miss looking down at her beautiful face, as she sucks away to get her nutrition from one of my body parts. It's the most wonderful feeling. Back then it was still a struggle though, she would only eat for short periods and because the flow of milk was too fast she often pulled away and cried. She wouldn't eat enough so my breasts would fill up and ache like crazy. I can't win.
Do these breastfeeding advocates know all of the above, or am I the only one faced with the struggles?

2 Nights of sleep, what a treat!

My sister in-law came to stay with us for a couple of days, mostly to visit Alex and help me out. It was the best two days I've had in a long time; visiting with her and definitely the sleep.
She insisted on looking after Alex through the night so I could get some sleep. She had been planning to do that ever since she found out I was at the hospital suffering from exhaustion and anxiety.
The first night I slept (and I mean slept!) near nine hours and last night I slept six! IT WAS WONDERFUL! Alex and I just woke up from a two hour nap and I feel completely refreshed. I wish all new mothers were as lucky as me. It's nice to have all kinds of help but feedings through the night top all.
I honestly don't think anyone else would be so generous to ever offer us that kind of break, my sister in-law is pretty special. I truly can't thank her enough.

First road trip

This weekend we decided to take a trip to visit our good friends in QC. I thought it would be a great overnight getaway, a change of pace for Alex and me. Overall it wasn't that bad, but our hosts probably don't think the same.
Alex cried most of the time she was awake, but she slept fairly good considering she wasn't at home in her bed, or in her swinging chair. Granted she was in a bit of pain from her immunization shots and nothing was familiar to her except her parents.
She was great in the car because I sat in the backseat with her, she does not travel well sitting in the back alone. She is not one of those babies who you can take for a car ride to fall asleep (unless she has company she can stare at).
When we got home Alex was very upset. It seemed that nothing would calm her. As soon as we walked in our house I tried to feed her and she wouldn't eat. I gave her a bath and she calmed down slightly but continued to cry. Then I gave her a massage and she calmed down even more but was still a bit cranky. She ate and eventually went to sleep in her swinging chair. It took her a while to realize she was home.
All in all it was an OK trip, a trial for our long trip to NS. next month.

First needles suck too

Thursday Alex got her first vaccination shots,what an awful day at the doctors for all of us. Don't get me wrong, we love her pediatrician.
First Alex peed all over mommy while on the way to the scales (next time I'll take her diaper off just before she gets weighed). After her regular check up and a chat with her doctor, two nurses came in the room and each poked a needle into either thigh. It took a second to kick in but man when Alex realized what just happened she screamed.
It broke our hearts to see her in pain. Both her dad and I cried with her. What a heart-wrenching experience but her doctor said the 18-month shots are worse because they are aware and they remember.
Alex was in pain for a few days, another cry to figure out what was wrong.

25 and a half hour labour

During my pregnancy I talked with many mothers as I was curious about their labour and delivery experiences. Stupid me didn't think to ask about what came after that.
Some women told me about their six-hour labour, one even said she had two of her babies in two hours. I think the longest labour was 10 hours. So judging by the information I gathered I thought I couldn't possibly go longer than 10 hours.
I was firmly against any pain medication and I was definitely not having an epidural! Well after 16 hours of extreme pain and vomiting the doctors and nurses pleaded with me to consider an epidural. If they could ease my mind about the side effects of the epidural I would consider it. They did and I opted to have the epidural put in but only by an expert. I'm glad I did.
Anything can happen, all of it was so unexpected. I went in to it thinking I had my mind made up and every last thing changed! Never in a million years would I have thought I'd be in labour for more than 25 hours.
Expect the unexpected.

swaddling sucks but it works

Dr. Harvey Karp, the author of The Happiest Baby on the Block, says that parents should imitate the womb for a baby's first three months of life. One of the five ways of doing that, he suggests, is to swaddle your baby. We did that, it worked for a while but now things have changed.
Alex is trying to use her arms and legs a lot more now, she can almost hold her binky in her mouth. To swaddle a baby you must wrap them very tightly in a blanket, arms and legs included. The main reason behind this is so that they don't wake themselves with their flailing arms. Well now that Alex is getting used to life outside the womb and making better use of her arms and legs she absolutely rejects being swaddled. The problem is that she still startles herself awake!
I try not to swaddle her too much because I know she doesn't care for it and her arms and legs need the exercise. But sometimes I have to and she protests like it's the end of the world. She's smart, now she quickly gets her one arm free before I fold over the last corner of the blanket. It's quite a struggle and I often feel bad...but it works.
To swaddle or not to swaddle.

Binky, bottle or breast

Breastfeeding has been an experience in itself. There were times when I almost gave it up, times when I cried and times of tremendous joy.
Alex's doctor told us not to introduce a bottle until she was six weeks old. During my "worry stage" I often worried about Alex getting confused between her soother, a bottle (with pumped breast milk) and breastfeeding. Back then I limited her soother use and I hesitated to use a bottle. I had been pumping and freezing but I was paranoid that she would stop breastfeeding if we bottle-fed her.
The night I went to the hospital because of my panic attack was the first time Alex had a bottle. I even worried that she wouldn't take her first bottle and she would go hungry. The nurse at the emergency department assured me Alex was fine.
Now I don't worry about any of the above. She mostly eats from the bottle, gets her Binky whenever she fusses and is a little lazy with the breastfeeding. Oh well, I can pump until I can't pump anymore. She will never starve. I'm so much calmer and carefree now.

Alex loves her massages

Alex has a rash and I was told to try air drying. So I decided to give her a nightly massage after her bath and let her air dry for a while. She absolutely loves it. I love it too.
There have been studies that have determined touching makes babies smarter, plus the massages have brought us even closer together. During her massage she gets so excited, she talks and smiles away. Overall, I think the massages have made her more calm and comfortable.
It's all trial and error.

Things to worry about

When I first brought Alex home I worried about everything; is she breathing? Is she eating enough? Can she breath in that stroller, under the blanket? Is she wetting enough diapers? Is she sleeping too much? And then came the cold virus! Poor girl caught a cold at six weeks old.
I think that's how my anxiety manifested. New mothers don't talk about post partum anxiety or depression enough. In fact, a mother recently told me that she hid the fact that she suffered post partum for six months after her baby was born. I encourage women to talk about it, I urge them. Talk with your doctor if no one else. My doctor really helped me through this tough time. I worry a lot less, ask my husband.

quiet please

Some people have suggested that we get Alex used to noises; dog barking, doors closing, doors knocking. But after you've spent four hours trying to put her to sleep you don't want to chance her waking up under any circumstances.
We have had several visitors, some from out of town. They're noisy. They practically slam doors and cupboards shut, drop things and talk loudly. All of the above startle Alex when she's sleeping. When people show up unexpectedly and the dog barks is another annoyance.
People just don't understand, especially those who are not parents. Shhhh.

Not all bad

It appears that some people think I view parenting in a negative way; let me assure you all that that's not the case. I wouldn't change anything; not the 25 hour labour, not the 1st three months of continuous crying, not the lack of sleep, not anything. I love my daughter more than anything in the world.
This blog is simply about things that most people don't talk about or don't tell you about while you're pregnant.

Post Partum What?

About five weeks in to motherhood I started suffering from panic attacks; the first one was particularily bad and I went to the hospital b/c my doctor was not available. Surprisingly, the staff was very understanding and helped me understand what was going on.
I was suffering from post partum anxiety and possibly depression. Honestly, I didn't have a clue; I was ecstatic about my little bundle of joy.
What caused it? Besides the hormone imbalance, it was the lack of sleep, lack of proper diet and just being a new mom. I had to learn a lot about my new baby. I thought I could run on fumes; do laundry, dishes, eat, shower...all while my little angel slept...NO! I ran out of fumes and ended up in the hospital suffering from exhaustion and anxiety. I was told that I have to "sleep when baby sleeps."
Since then I have made an effort to sleep when baby sleeps but it's still a struggle. Sometimes she sleeps for 30 minutes, just enough time for me to get to sleep, or other times I just can't fall asleep. I have tried to eat better, thanks to my husband.
I went to see my family doctor and he was quite concerned about my trip to the hospital. He took three hours of his time to figure out what medication would be safe while breastfeeding. It seems to be doing the trick!

crying, eating and not sleeping

Well, my daughter, Alexandria Nicole, is well in to her 7th week of life, and we're getting to know each other quite nicely. She definitely knows who her mom is and, for the most part, I know what her cries are telling me.
Prior to us getting to know each other it was a whirlwind of emotions and not really knowing what to do. It was tough at times, especially when she cried, didn't sleep for any length of time and then there was the feeding obstacle. Thank goodness for her doctor who guided me through it all.
For her crying and short sleeps, Alex's doctor recommended I read The Happiest Baby on The Block by Harvey Karp; that book is gold! Her doctor also eased my mind about her breastfeeding habits; she gets all she needs in the first five minutes of feeding... who knew!